I reported back for work after a paternity-vacation leave of almost a month. Paternity leave is only 7 working days, so I had to make arrangements for an extension. The extended vacation was necessary to address my work burnout. Although the time off did not allow me to completely rest (our “little monster” had cholic episodes at night), it allowed me to reflect on things.

Life in a big firm. When you're working in big firms, or even small ones, with heavy and demanding working needs, you'll most likely be exposed to high levels of stress and spend long hours at the office. You'll probably lose much of your social and family time. Yet, there’s little reason to complain. You need to cope. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. In my case, the only way I regained control over my time (and pace) was to start my own firm.

Second chance and redemption. No one is perfect; we are bound to make mistakes. Stop. Grieve. Assess what happened and what could you do. Execute your plan. Move on. Don't get bogged down with self-pity or needless guilt.

You can’t please everyone. If you try to accept all work assignments, you spread yourself too thin. The enemy of one’s friend is an enemy; you’ll end up with someone not liking you simply because you’re a friend of his enemy. I tried so hard to please everyone. It’s impossible.

Mid-life crisis. People don’t like to use this phrase, but it’s a normal phase in life. It’s a period of forced re-examination of goals (and life in general), brought about by the inevitable clash of cynicism and ideals. After surgery a few years ago, I said life is so short and too precious to waste slaving at work. Surprisingly, I am still doing it. This is among the conflicts in values and priorities, the usual reaction of which is to create compartments and draw neat lines for order’s sake. Maybe there are no borders after all. Life is really one big gray area.

(This article is a reproduction from the other site, originally posted on 25 January 2006, right after my first kid was born.)